Posted on 25 February 2011.

It started out not knowing if I should take off my shoes before I entered the house, or when I was over the threshold, and then progressed to wondering if he celebrated Christmas or New Years on the same day as my family did. Interracial relationships however, are common and very fun. The notions you may have had of a certain culture soon get dispelled and often a whole new world opens up.
Sometimes the racial differences between yourself and the person you care for seem daunting. Maybe you do not celebrate the same holidays or eat the same food. Maybe even the languages you speak at home are different. It can be really hard to connect with a person who has never experienced many of the things you grew up knowing, such as cultural cuisine or even just a favorite television show that only runs on Telemundo, and hence in Spanish. There are tons of other differences that can also crop up that are not initially noticeable. Saying ‘I love you’ openly and hugging someone in front of their parents could cause tension because it is unusual for your significant other, but not for you. The stress from having to bridge so many gaps in your cultural knowledge can feel overwhelming and as result the relationships fracture or stagnate.
Stress not though, because for every thing that seems to be a barrier, you will find something you have in common. The relationship is like a layer cake. Initially you were attracted because of some similarities, a common class or sport or club. This is a familiar, safe layer which leads you to flirt and perhaps even begin dating. The second layer down is the filling. You get to know the person better, their tastes, their family, differences between the pair of you become apparent. Personally, the filling of a cake is always a surprise, sometimes I end up loving it and sometimes I can not bear to eat it to get to the next layer. Both reactions are fine, but I have learned to give a new flavor a chance, savor it for a while, because snap decisions, rejection or acceptance, can be very misleading.
Below the first layer and below the filling, there is the final layer where deeper similarities some to light. If you have stuck together with someone, dealt with the aspects of your worlds that are different, and are still together then there are other, more powerful similarities that bind you and will keep you together. The meat of a story is in its plot and characters, not so much the setting. In the same way, a relationship is a story that takes place between you and your significant other; the differences between your races are just the setting, the background, and not the determining factors in your story. In this third cake layer there are continents of common ground, sometimes you just need to sail uncharted waters to find them.
Good luck with everything and may sunny skies find you, or the pair of you as it may be.
Rhiannon
Interracial relationships no longer elicit the gasps and screams to which former generations have become accustomed. Instead, most people find the concept commonplace, and embrace it freely. No, the real reluctance is often derived from the pressure exerted by friends and family. The magnificent Morrighan can relate. This is her experience.
Picture a household where rice cookers, chopsticks, and oriental tapestries catch you at every turn. (Considering the demographics of Mills High School, this shouldn’t be too difficult, I hope.) I enter the household, and am subjected to the removal of my shoes. I turn a corner, and the father of my significant other–a master of at least five different martial arts–is practicing his awesome sword techniques at a rather uncomfortable proximity. After a final cleave, he greets me with a handsome smile and “hello” in his thick and choppy accent. Different ways of life have always fascinated me, but I can’t say the same for my family. I come from roots comprised of a WASP father and some very traditional Italians. (No, they are nothing like those fools on Jersey Shore.) Needless to say, this culture clash brings up some interesting… ”sentiments” from my mother’s side. My significant other is six-foot two and half Vietnamese. He currently resides with his very Vietnamese father. Ever since I introduced my love to my five-foot four, very Italian grandparents, the Italian Inquisition has been ceaseless–six months ceaseless. The first question they ask, of course? “E’ italiano?” Luckily, I could respond with the affirmative, but the fact that he had any Asian mixed into his genes raised eyebrows.
My grandparents are quite accepting considering their ascetic moral background, but other family members haven’t really “granted their approval” quite yet. My advice for those suffering the same affliction? Try explaining to them the nature of the twenty-first century, and the fact that just because your significant other isn’t, *insert heritage here*, he or she is still human. If that doesn’t work, I would highly recommend beating said family members senseless, or finding a gypsy to curse them for their ignorance and extreme mental retardation. As delightful as these sound, perhaps they aren’t the most humane solutions. So if there is neither a baseball bat or gypsy at your disposal, use diplomacy. Explain just how much your beloved means to you, and you to your beloved. Explain that, no matter the culture, race, or religion to which your significant other belongs, he or she is equally as capable of loving you as much as anyone else. If that doesn’t work, please let me know and I would be elated to arrange a very enlightening counseling session for the ignorant in your life–full of magic and wonder… and ritual sacrifice.
-Morrighan